you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
