He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
