Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
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