just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
These tits shall not be calmed
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
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