it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
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She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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