My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
