who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
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