she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
