Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
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