Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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