Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Randomize