I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
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