something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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