its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Everything about him screamed your future.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
