I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
