And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Randomize
