You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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