Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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