Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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