take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Randomize
