Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
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