My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
