It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Blood and glitter go together right?
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
