Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize
