Where is the hickey?
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
you inspire me to be a worse person
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
