I cannot find my penis.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
last night I used snow as a chaser
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize