Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
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