Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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