I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
