Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
