So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
