What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Randomize
