So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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