I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
