Buhtt sex?
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
