apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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