New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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