I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Randomize
