I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize