Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
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