i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
