weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Randomize
