I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
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