great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
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He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
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We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
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