She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Randomize
