I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize