I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
