I didn't shave. On purpose
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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