therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
