I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
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My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
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Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
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