Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
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The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
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Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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