the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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