Say something about gay babies.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
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