clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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