I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
