Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Randomize
