I molested 6 butterflies tonight
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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