I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
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