It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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