I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
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