You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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