dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
